A secondary school teacher was arrested today at Auckland International
airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a
protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press
conference, Attorney General Chris Finlayson said he believes the man is a
member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He did not go on to identify the man, who has been charged by the CAA with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', said Attorney General Chris Finlayson. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides
to every triangle."'
When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister John Key was quoted as having said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
A parliamentary press secretary reportedly informed the parliamentary press gallery that he, 'could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by a NZ Prime Minister.' It is thought that a Nobel Prize nomination could well follow; especially if President Obama is anything to go by.
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